Unattainable
by FireboltPhoenix
Summary: Potentially slightly OOC characters. Hermione has a secret that's killing her. Can Severus Snape catch her before she falls? Set after 4th year, M for mature content and eventual HG/SS.
1. Part 1: Perfect

_**A/N:**_ _This story has quite mature content, so it's been rated M. It's canon up until 4__th__ year, and starts from the summer holidays before 5__th__. It deals with an eating disorder, so if anyone has an issue with that, they should probably stop reading now. It will be an eventual HG/SS fic. But when I say eventual, I mean quite far down the track, so if you're looking for some action right away, this isn't the fic for you. There will be quite a lot of angst in it. I hope I don't offend anyone, and I by no means claim that __**everyone**__ with an ED feels this way; this is just what it feels like for me. This first chapter is more or less the prologue of the story. The following chapters will be longer and will also be from the point of view of both Hermione and Severus. Please review and let me know what you think._

_**Disclaimer: **__I don't own Harry Potter. I am merely twisting JKR's characters into telling parts of my story. _

_Perfect:_

* * *

><p><em>Numb.<em>

The scalding water ran down her back as she sat on the shower floor. She had forgotten to turn the cold water tap on. Or had she done it on purpose? She couldn't remember. No matter. It didn't hurt anyway. It didn't hurt her, even though her skin was red raw. It didn't hurt when the steam stung at her eyes. It didn't hurt anymore. She was…

_Numb._

The water turned freezing. The hot water tank must have run out. She wasn't at Hogwarts anymore. There was no magic to turn the water back to hot. No matter. It didn't hurt. It didn't sting at the red raw skin on her back. It didn't feel like icicles were digging into her flesh. It didn't. Because she was numb.

She dragged herself out of the shower and stared at herself in the mirror. She was naked. And she shuddered. _It's because I'm cold, _she convinced herself, even though she couldn't feel it. She gazed at the bright pink flesh in the glass. Flesh. Lots of it. In all the wrong places. She felt sick. But she couldn't stop staring.  
>She didn't know how long she stood there looking. Her skin had started to turn pale again. With a final look of disgust, she pulled her dressing gown over her body. It was big and lumpy and suited her just fine. She left the bathroom and went downstairs for breakfast.<p>

Breakfast was a black coffee; two sweeteners and no milk. The house was empty, again. She took the coffee upstairs to her bedroom, and sat at her desk with a _thump. _She opened a drawer and pulled out a box labelled _Homework. _Rifling through, under piles and piles of completed works, she found what she was looking for. Stacks of Muggle magazines. Fashion magazines. She opened one reverently and sighed. That was it. That was perfection. The model was all hard lines and angles. A tiny waist with jutting out hipbones. Ribs that she could count. She looked so strong. She looked so fragile. The itty bitty bikini was falling off of her hips.

She vowed to never wear a bikini again until she looked like that. That beauty; those lines. She craved it. That was flawlessness. That was attainable. It had to be.

* * *

><p>She couldn't quite pinpoint why it had actually started. She hadn't woken up one morning and decided she had to be thin. Granted, she had always watched what she ate, but it had never been like this before. It had never been an all-consuming thought. Never had the thought of food made her sick. Never had she so desperately revelled in the fact that she was <em>empty. <em>Never had she thought that sticking her fingers down her throat would make her feel so _pure._

She knew she was intelligent. She knew people thought of her as perfect. She loved it. She loved perfection in every way. Craved perfection. Perfect handwriting, ever so neat. Perfect pens, all lined up. Perfect wardrobe, all colour coded. Perfect daughter, perfect friend, perfect student… Perfect, perfect, perfect… And this was the way to complete perfection, she was sure.

She didn't have an eating disorder, no way. That's what those other girls had; the ones who were too skinny. They were sick, they needed help. She didn't. She knew she was overweight. She knew that the pudgy tummy shouldn't be there. _Mum told me I should tone up. _She knew that her arms were too flabby. _Harry laughed at how I ate as much as he did. _She knew that her thighs sounded like thunder when she walked. _Ron asked me to the Yule Ball as a last resort. _She knew that her calves and ankles were one and the same. _Viktor just thought I was an easy target because I don't have many friends. _But no more. She would become faultless. Seamless. Unadulterated. Perfect. Because she had to be.


	2. Grim Company

_**A/N: **__The first "chapter" was more of an introduction. This is technically speaking the first chapter of the story. It is mostly in the view of Severus. Please let me know if you prefer longer chapters with a longer waiting time between, or shorter chapters with a shorter waiting time. =) Also, I live in Australia and have never been to England, so I try not to mention any exact/real places just in case I get it wrong. On the odd occasion that I _do_ mention something and on the very likely chance that I get it wrong, please feel free to correct me. Constructive criticism is definitely welcome =)_

_**Grim Company:**_

* * *

><p>Severus Snape stormed through the small square of unkempt grass leading to his destination. His foul mood was certainly not soothed by the sight that met his obsidian eyes. The neighbouring houses were dirty and grimy, with broken windows and rubbish littering the street. The house that he was headed to however seemed to be slightly more liveable. Granted, the stone steps leading up to the tarnished and peeling front door were so worn that it was almost dangerous to climb them; and the walls themselves were just as filthy as their neighbours; and the house had a desolate, dark feel to it… but at least there wasn't a broken window in sight. Severus sighed. And this was the Headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix.<p>

He snorted. _Headquarters indeed. _Clearly Albus Dumbledore had been watching too many Muggle action movies. To Severus' intense displeasure, his presence had been _requested _at Headquarters that day. He had to bite back another snort. The day Dumbledore actually gave him an option would be the day that he would marry Harry Potter. Dumbledore never asked. He demanded, expected and manipulated; and damn near always got what he wanted. He was the powerful leader of the Light side, and even though he was a calculating old bastard, Severus respected him. Through the fifteen years that had passed since Severus declared his allegiance to the Light, the old man had even started to grow on him. Merlin forbid _that_ ever got out.

Severus was still fuming as he reached the steps of number 12, Grimmauld Place. He had been researching an improvement of the Dreamless Sleep Draught when Dumbledore's Patronus had disturbed him. The rich, soft fumes of the potion were ensnaring and enchanting his senses in such a manner that he realised he could have been down in his personal lab for days and not even have realised it. He had leapt up in shock upon hearing the deep voice of Dumbledore right next to him, coming from the bright white phoenix, thus knocking over the cauldron of Dreamless Sleep Draught. A long chain of expletives had followed as Severus' notes were rendered useless and the potion was officially contaminated. With a sigh and a flick of his wand, the mess was cleaned up, his long black travelling cloak was around him, and he had Disapparated to the square outside his long-time enemy's home.

Severus pulled his wand out and tapped the front door once. While the numerous clunks let him know that the door was unlocking, he pondered why he had bothered to wear his cloak on such a warm day. As the door screeched open, he reasoned that it was entirely possible that Dumbledore was about to send him on a wild trek to somewhere cold and he thanked his good sense to bring his cloak. Severus stepped over the threshold and into the dimly lit hallway. Although he had visited the house on an abundant of occasions, the explicit _Darkness_ of the home never failed to shock him. From the cobwebbed chandeliers and candelabras shaped like serpents; to the wasted heads of the former House Elves attached to the walls; and, of course, the screaming portrait of Mrs Black. The entire aura of the house reeked of Dark magic, and Severus knew that there was a multitude of questionable artefacts hidden somewhere in the vast townhouse. He could _feel_ them calling out to him.

He wandered into the kitchen, his bad mood intensifying as he came face to face with Sirius Black.

"Black," he sneered.

"Snivellus," was the snide reply from the tall, dark headed man sitting at the table.

Severus glared at Black. He'd hated that name since he first heard it.  
>"Still hiding inside while everyone else does the work I see… anyone would think you were a coward…" he scoffed.<p>

Black just smirked. "Still kissing Voldemort's feet I see, anyone would think _you_ were the coward."

Severus fought the urge to grab his left forearm at the mention of the Dark Lord's name, and bit his lip to keep from hexing Black. Black had _no _idea what he, Severus, went through as a double agent. Kissing the feet of the Dark Lord was a humiliating experience, made all the more so by the fact that Severus no longer _supported_ the ideologies of the madman. Truth be told, he couldn't wait for his downfall, and it was the hope of finally being a free man that kept him doing what he did.

"Now now, boys," chided a calm voice from behind Severus. "As I reminded you just a few weeks ago, you're both on the same side now."

Albus Dumbledore strode into the kitchen and took a seat at the table next to Black. He gestured to the chair on his left and spoke to Severus. "Sit down, my boy. We have lots to discuss."

Severus sighed out loud. "Make it quick, Albus, please. I want to get to the apothecary before the day ends."

Black snorted at this. "Greasy git."

"Mature as always," Severus replied, as he took his seat. He was rewarded with a scowl from Black and a beaming smile from Dumbledore.

The old man stroked his long white beard, his blue eyes twinkling behind the half-moon spectacles he always wore. "And how are things on the other side?"

Severus tried not to roll his eyes. "We had a meeting on Wednesday, Dumbledore. It's now Friday. I haven't been summoned since. Nothing has changed. He is still just as determined as ever to figure out that prophecy."

Dumbledore smiled. "Well, I'm glad nothing has come up then, because I have a favour to ask you."

Although he had expected this since the Patronus had delivered Dumbledore's message, Severus groaned inwardly. He really didn't _want _to do any favours for anybody; he so rarely got time to himself. Now that he had been forced out of his lab, he actually did want to go to the apothecary. There was a new one that had just opened up in Diagon Alley and he was as excited as a little boy on Christmas to visit it… although nobody needed to know that of course.

"Well spit it out then," Severus growled.

"Miss Granger…" the Headmaster began.

"No!" Severus exclaimed, jumping up from his seat. "I will not do you any favour that involves Granger!"

"Give me a chance to finish, Severus!"

Severus sat back down angrily, his face still glowering. The grin on Black's face tempted him to turn around and walk back out of the house; but he knew that would achieve nothing. He slowly attempted to reel in his anger. _Fuck you both, _he thought.

"Miss Granger," Dumbledore continued. "Needs to be picked up from her house and brought here. It's not safe for her to come here alone. Remus and Nymphadora are currently watching Harry; Kingsley, Emmeline and Sturgis are at the Ministry; Arthur and his family are getting ready to come here themselves; and Hestia is keeping guard today. There is no one else, Severus."

What luck he had. Why couldn't bloody Granger come another day? He saw enough of that know-it-all during the school year; the last thing he wanted was for her to encroach on his _only_ private time. A sudden thought went through his head and he smiled. "What about Minerva? She _is_ the girl's Head of House."

"Ah," Dumbledore replied smoothly. "Urgent family business, I'm afraid. It could not be helped."

_Ugh. _"Well what about Diggle or Doge?"

"Those two in the Muggle world?" Dumbedore scorned. "We want it to be an inconspicuous event, Severus. Really, she's a lovely girl."

"She's a Gryffindor," he moaned. "Why can't _you_ go and get her?"

Dumbledore appeared to be pondering that. "I suppose I could," he conceded. "But Sirius here just challenged me to a game of Wizards Chess; and then I promised him he could leave the house with me, as Padfoot of course. We're going to play fetch at a nearby park! And honestly Severus, you're much younger than I am. You'll be there much quicker."

_Too old to fetch Granger but young enough to play fetch with that mutt._ Severus resigned himself to the fact that he simply wasn't going to win. "What about the apothecary?" he questioned petulantly.

"Oh take her with you," came the smiling Dumbledore's reply. "She probably has new books she wants to buy. She's brilliant that girl. Be nice to her, Severus… and make sure you buy her some lunch when you're in Diagon Alley."

_Lunch? He wants me to buy her lunch? _"Why on _earth_ would I do that, Albus?" he asked waspishly.

"Because it's the polite thing to do," Dumbledore replied pleasantly. He reached into his pocket and pulled out two torn pieces of parchment, giving them both to Severus. "The first one is this address, make sure she reads it and memorises it otherwise she won't be able to get inside. Make sure you burn it after too," he added.

Severus just shook his head. He was a _spy_ for Merlin's sake. Of course he would burn the address.

"The second is Miss Granger's home address. Make sure you speak to one of her parents and explain where she's going, if you can. They'll probably be home for lunch anyway. Muggles tend to do that. There's an Apparition point about a 5 minute walk from Miss Granger's house, – you know the one I mean- and you'll have to take her with you using Side-Along."

Severus leered, pocketed the parchments, and turned to leave the room without even saying a goodbye. Black gave him an obscene hand gesture and Dumbledore smiled brightly. "Oh, and Severus?"

He turned back around, his eyes black as thunder. "What. Now?"

"Isn't it much too warm out there to be wearing such a cloak? Give my best to Miss Granger; goodbye!"

Severus sneered and stormed out of the room, cursing loudly the whole way. His cussing woke the portrait of Mrs Black up, and as he slammed the front door he was grinning in satisfaction at hearing her tortured screams and the scrambling feet of both Black and Dumbledore as they raced to get her to shut up.  
>Once he was back in the square outside the house, his grin faded as he thought about what Dumbledore had asked him to do. He really <em>didn't <em>like Granger. It wasn't anything the girl had done specifically, apart from making friends with Harry Potter of course; and he supposed that if she had been in one of the other Houses he wouldn't hate her _so_ much; but her Gryffindor know-it-all attitude drove him crazy. He didn't dwell on the fact that she was almost always right. And she was reasonably talented at Potions, he acknowledged, (nothing like himself, of course, but she wasn't a complete fool like Longbottom), which meant that she probably wouldn't be a total pain to take to the apothecary.  
>He sighed, took off his cloak and silently cast a spell to shrink it so it was small enough to put in his pocket. He was glad that he was wearing the Muggle clothes he usually wore in the lab. The fitted black jeans were slightly faded with age, and the grey cotton t-shirt he wore was stretched tightly over his newly redefined muscles. The school holidays always gave him a chance to increase his working out schedule, and he was certainly proud at how quickly the definition to his chest and arms had come back after a very slack year during the Tri-Wizard Tournament. He put the thoughts out of his head, however, and turned on the spot, disappearing with a faint <em>pop. <em>

* * *

><p>He reappeared a moment later in a completely different spot, on the outskirts of Surrey. He pulled the parchment with Granger's address out of his pocket and started walking in what he hoped was the right direction. Exactly 5 minutes later he came to a stop outside of the written address and stared up at the house in front of him. It was a fairly modern and large two storey house, completely normal looking and almost identical to the ones that were squished on either side of it. Severus approached the door with a slight apprehension in his stomach. What he was nervous about, he had no idea. He faced the Dark Lord on a regular basis, for Merlin's sake, and what could a couple of Muggles have on him? <em>Besides, <em>Severus thought. _If they keep me too long, I'll just hex the lot of them. Granger included. _He raised his fist and knocked loudly on the door.

After waiting only a few seconds, Severus heard footsteps pounding down what sounded like stairs. He heard the unmistakeable sound of a lock turning and found himself face to face with an attractive middle aged woman. One look at her porcelain skin and wild brown curls confirmed his suspicion that this was Granger's mother.

"Good Morning, Mrs Granger," he smiled politely, looking into her blue eyes.

"Oh, hello?" Anna Granger replied, clearly confused. "Do I know you from somewhere?"

"I'm Professor Severus Snape from your daughter's school," Severus responded. "I'm here to talk to her about something important. It's probably not wise for me to talk about it in such a plain view of the street," he added pointedly.

Anna looked taken aback, but she recovered quickly. A furtive look down the road and at some of the neighbours that were returning home for lunch rapidly helped her make up her mind.  
>"Of course, please come in," she answered, looking him up and down as if not believing that this man was a wizard.<p>

Severus nodded his head politely, stepped over the threshold and into the hallway. The house was light and airy, especially in comparison with where he had just come from, and it was decorated tastefully. He could see that while they were not rich like the Malfoy's, they clearly were financially comfortable.

"Come into the kitchen," Anna invited, still seeming slightly dazed. "My husband is just preparing lunch."

Severus smiled tightly in return. Merlin knew he hated being polite. He would rather be sneering than smiling, truth be told. He stepped into the modern kitchen and gazed around the room in slight awe. Whilst he was marginally familiar with the Muggle world, (well, a lot more than many of his wizard counterparts), he hadn't ever seen so many _appliances_ in one spot. And they all ran off… what was it? _Elektrisity. _That was it. He could not possibly see how that square silver contraption in the corner could be of any use until he saw some toasted bread pop out. Surely not? Surely only a wand could produce toast? He stared in amazement.

"This is my husband, Daniel Granger," Anna said, indicating to a tall brunette man flipping eggs. "Daniel, this is Professor Snape from Hermione's school."

The man turned around slowly and Severus noticed that his eyes were the exact same shade as Granger's. From his brief meeting with her parents, he knew that she was almost a spitting image of her mother. She had the same petite frame, porcelain skin and wild curls. But her eyes were her father's.

Daniel Granger grinned and held out his hand. Severus grasped it and smiled in reply. _Another bloody smile. I'll be a Gryffindor before I know it._

"Are you here to see our 'Mione?" Daniel questioned. "She's just in her room.  
>"HERMIONE!" he called out, then indicated the breakfast bar stools. "Please sit down."<p>

Severus slowly sat down and hoped that Granger wouldn't take too long. A few moments later, his wish was granted as Hermione Granger came lightly down the stairs and stopped in the kitchen doorway. She gasped as she saw Severus, her face expressing a comical "O".

Severus himself was slightly stunned at her appearance. Granted, he had rarely seen her in Muggle clothes, and he certainly had never paid attention before, but he definitely thought that she had lost weight. Her long curls were pulled back into a high ponytail, and her cheekbones stuck out slightly more than he thought they did at the end of the term. Her delicate collarbones protruded from a casual summer sundress, and he swallowed nervously. She looked good. Fifteen year old school students weren't supposed to look like that.

Severus recovered first. "Morning, Miss Granger," he said politely.

His polite tone seemed to shock her out of her reverie. "G-g good morning, sir," she replied quietly, her stutter reminding him more of Longbottom than his usual confident student.

"I'm sure you're wondering why I'm here," he continued, and she nodded. "Professor Dumbledore has _requested_ that I take you to, for lack of a better term, a _safe house_ for the rest of the summer. I can't explain any more than that at the moment; you'll understand when we get there."

Severus fully expected, possibly even hoped, the girl to protest at coming with him. But she gave a slight smile and nodded. "I was supposed to go to Ron's house next week…?" she questioned nervously.

"The Weasley's will be joining you in a few days," Severus replied.

"And Harry?"

Severus felt his frustration growing. He didn't know what Potter was doing and truthfully he didn't _care. _"I'm sure he'll be there soon too," he said evenly.

"Okay, sir. I'll just go and finish packing. Luckily I have most things packed for Ron's anyway," Granger smiled.

Severus just nodded and she flounced back up the stairs again. Silence greeted him and he looked at the older Grangers. He groaned inwardly. They hardly looked pleased. "Professor Dumbledore would like me to inform you that she'll be well looked after…" he supplied.

Daniel looked thoughtful. "We barely see our little girl anymore," he said sadly. "She's changed so much."

Severus squirmed. What about his current demeanour looked like it invited deep and meaningful conversation? He just wanted to get _out _of there and to the apothecary, Granger in tow if he must. He felt obliged to answer, however, and spoke slowly.

"Our world is incredibly different to yours, and in turn, it makes it harder for Muggle-borns to adjust. In order to truly fit in with our people and our many ways and customs, Miss Granger has had to fully immerse herself in our society, thus giving up, perhaps temporarily, the many ideals of your own world. You may find, however, that as she gets older she is better able to handle being involved in both societies with ease…

"She's quite a bright, intelligent student," he added somewhat grudgingly, hoping to ease their worries and be able to leave. "Apart from all of the trouble she finds herself in."

"Trouble?" Anna questioned sharply. "Hermione never gets in trouble."

Severus started to reply but was cut off by a loud voice from the door.

"Professor Snape! I'm ready to go," Granger announced, slightly flushed. She looked into his eyes and he noticed the slight pleading of them. _Her parents don't know what's happened at Hogwarts,_ he reasoned, shocked.

"Quite right, Miss Granger," Severus replied. "We really must be going." Although he knew he could tell her parents all and get her into a lot of trouble, he chose not to. _Only because I want to get to the apothecary soon and I don't want to deal with a family argument… _he convinced himself; and he headed out into the hall. He stopped shortly in shock. As well as her Hogwarts trunk, there were another three suitcases. He sputtered, "Why on earth have you got so much luggage?"

Granger blushed and muttered something about books and perhaps using a shrinking charm.

"A shrinking charm is all well and good," some of his usual snark coming back into his voice, "except obviously we can't use magic in the house, less the Ministry think it's you doing it." _And we definitely don't want to antagonise the Ministry. _He sighed. "We'll have to carry them to the Apparition point and shrink them there. Come along then." He grabbed the handle of the trunk in one hand, and two suitcases in the other. _How many books can this slight of a girl read?_

Granger gave her father a big hug and kissed him on both cheeks. "Bye daddy," she said sadly.

"Goodbye, angel. Keep in touch please, and stay safe."

Granger nodded and plastered a smile on her face as she moved towards her mother. Severus noticed that their hug was much stiffer; but he filed that information away for later.

"Hurry Miss Granger," he implored. _A few more minutes of pretending to be polite…_

"Yes sir." She gathered the last suitcase and smiled once more at her parents. Severus held the door open for her and she wandered onto the porch. He turned to face her parents, "Mr and Mrs Granger," he said formally and dipped his head.

"Professor Snape," they replied, and as they were shutting the door, Daniel called out. "Look after my daughter, please." Severus just nodded and the door shut.

* * *

><p>They began to walk to the Apparition point, Severus striding ahead even though he was carrying the bulk of the luggage. In reality, he was thanking whatever deities existed that he had started training again, as it would have been utterly embarrassing to not be able to move them. He was incredibly peeved that<em> this <em>was how he was spending his day, and the fact that Granger was taking so long to walk with only one bag was enough to snap his fraying nerves. _She's probably dawdling just to be annoying…_

"Hurry UP, Granger," he snapped, not even bothering to look behind him.

"So there's no more "_Miss Granger" _now that my parents aren't around?" she retorted slowly, yet angrily.

He spun around, his anger flaring up. She _dared_ to be insolent with him? He didn't care that it was the holidays, and he opened his mouth, fully intending to give her a lecture on respect… it was too bad he couldn't take points off of Gryffindor as well…. One look at her however changed his mind. The girl was clearly struggling with the suitcase. Bits of her hair were flying out of her ponytail; her sundress was completely hitched up on one side, showing Severus much too much of her creamy white thigh; and her flushed face was screwed up in exertion. Severus came to a stop and waited for her to catch up.

"Clearly Hogwarts should offer more physical education classes," he commented dryly. "How on earth do you expect to win a duel when you're so physically unfit?"

"I'm… not… unfit," Hermione puffed angrily, stopping next to him. "This… suitcase… is… heavy."

"Here," he pulled out a flask, seemingly from nowhere and offered it to her.

Granger looked at him dubiously. "I don't… think I need… alcohol," she said, slightly less out of breath.

Severus rolled his eyes. "It's pumpkin juice."

"Oh."

She grabbed the flask and brought it up to her parched lips, drinking as if she hadn't in days. A few moments later she had had her fill and stopped. "Thank you, sir," she said with a small smile.

Severus just inclined his head. "I'll take that suitcase too."

Granger shook her head. "I'll be fine sir, I was just thirsty."

Severus folded his arms across his body. There was no way this Gryffindor would beat him when it came to being stubborn.  
>"I've got all day, Granger." Frankly, he just wanted to get the hell out of this Muggle street, but he knew if she didn't hand the case over they would be stopping again before they reached the Apparition point.<br>She glared at him awhile before she handed him the bag, and they continued in silence.

A short time later they arrived at the designated Apparition point. Severus quickly pulled out his wand and silently cast a shrinking spell. Within seconds all of the bags were put into his pocket where his cloak was and he felt a sense of relief wash over him. Finally, they were heading to Diagon Alley!

"Miss Granger," he started, his earlier frustration dissipating. "Have you ever travelled by Side-Along Apparition?"

The girl quickly shook her head.

"You'll need to hold my arm tightly. It will feel rather uncomfortable the first time; it feels like you're being squished through a very tight rubber tube, I guess. Most people vomit the first time they attempt it, so if you feel at all queasy let me know so I can move out of the way. I plan on stopping off in Diagon Alley first too, alright?"

Blushing, she nodded, and grabbed a hold of his left forearm. He yelped in pain and she quickly backed off, looking scared.

"Other arm if you please, Miss Granger," he hissed.

Blushing further still, she grasped hold of his proffered right arm and quickly felt it twist in her grasp. Before she knew it, everything was black.

* * *

><p>They landed outside of <em>Madam Malkin's Robes for All Occasions <em>and Severus sighed in relief. A quick look at Granger confirmed that she was still in one piece, albeit holding his arm rather tightly and looking quite green. A few moments later her colour returned to normal and he felt it was time to get moving. Only her hand was still grasping his arm.

"Please remove your hand, Miss Granger," he sneered quietly. "I assure you, I will not let you get lost."

"Oh!" she flushed, quickly letting go of his arm and started to fidget with her dress.  
><em>Really, <em>Severus thought glancing at the offending item, _Muggle clothes should be a lot longer than that…_

They made their way through the crowd, Severus keeping a close eye on the girl. She really was so tiny; it was entirely possible to lose her in the crowd. After she fell behind him for the fifth time, he placed his hand on her lower back and guided her through the crowd and towards new apothecary, which was close to the back of Diagon Alley; almost in Knockturn Alley. The crowd had thinned out a lot here, and Severus pulled his hand away from her. They stopped outside of a newly refurbished shop with the name _Ceridwen's Magickal Apothecary _in silver letters over the door. Severus snorted and caught Granger's eye. She was smiling too.

"Named after the Celtic goddess Ceridwen," she answered, as if knowing what he was thinking. "The goddess of moon, magic, agriculture, nature, poetry language, music, art, science and astrology. The keeper of the cauldron."

Severus grinned in spite of himself. The depth of this Gryffindor's knowledge never ceased to amaze him. He held the door open for her and followed her inside.

The inside was amazing, certainly one of the best apothecary's he had visited in Britain. There were labyrinth rows lit only by tiny floating candles, which were filled floor to ceiling with vials, jars and bottles of varying sizes. There were herbs and spices and medicines and plants; there were crushed animal parts and whole animal parts and everything in between. He felt Granger slip away from him and called out a warning,

"Don't touch anything you don't recognise."

She nodded and smiled in return, and Severus went back to his ogling. He decided to stock up his personal potions lab, and come back when he had more time to shop for the school year. He perused the shelves, levitating certain vials or jars down to better see the product, and soon he had a vast collection of items that were hovering around him. He sent them straight to the counter where the attendant rang up his order. He settled the bill and sat down in a chair by the window, waiting for Granger, bemused at how someone managed to spend longer in an apothecary than he did. He didn't feel right rushing her; he understood the enchantment of such a place like this. She soon arrived back at the door however, empty handed. The corners of her mouth turned up when she saw his packages but she didn't say anything. Severus was about to suggest taking her to what would be her home for the next few weeks, when he remembered his promise to Dumbledore. Dammit, he'd have to buy her lunch.

"Professor Dumbledore told me to buy you some lunch while we were here," Severus mentioned as they left _Ceridwen's Magickal Apothecary._

She looked horrified. "No, you don't have to do that," she quickly replied. "I was hoping we could stop off at _Flourish and Blotts? _I'll be quick, I promise."

Severus thought for a moment on how to get Dumbledore to believe he had bought Granger lunch. Probably not possible. Slytherin cunning rarely worked on him – Severus was sure that Dumbledore himself was _actually_ a Slytherin – but it may work on Granger. Truthfully, she was so slim; she could do with a bit of food.

"I'll tell you what," he said silkily. "You eat lunch and we can pop into the book store. Deal?"

She hesitated. "Okay."

They walked back into the crowd, Severus once again putting his hand on her lower back, and made their way to The Leaky Cauldron. They found a table and a menu, and he waited pointedly for her to choose what she wanted. He allowed a few minutes to go past before he started to get frustrated. Merlin, this wasn't a date; he didn't _want_ to take her out to eat, why wouldn't she just hurry up and choose something?

"Today would be nice, Miss Granger," his cold voice cut into her thoughts.

"I'll just grab a salad," she replied, and reached into her pocket, pulling out a few Galleons.

Severus just raised his eyebrows and shook his head.  
>"Women don't pay," he said.<p>

"But, it's not like this is a date… is it?" she asked, disturbed.

Severus smirked. "Of course not, Miss Granger. It is wizarding custom however – the men have to pay." And he got up and approached the counter where he ordered and paid for their food.

A few minutes after he got back, two steaming bowls of hearty beef stew; a plate of sandwiches and two bowls of chips; as well as a couple of cups of sweet tea, were sent to their table. Granger glared at him, which made Severus smirk even more.

"I thought I ordered a salad?" she questioned him.

"You did," he replied simply. "I changed your order. You're disappearing as it is; now eat your food."

She sighed, extra loudly, and picked up her spoon. He followed her and soon lost himself in the taste of the delicious stew; he couldn't remember the last time he had eaten - he had definitely forgotten breakfast that morning anyway, too busy in his lab. He glanced up after a few moments and saw Granger looking at her stew as if it had offended her. Feeling slightly guilty at ordering something she didn't like, he pushed the plate of sandwiches towards her.

"Maybe you'll like these more?" he inquired quietly. Her head snapped up and she stared into his dark eyes.

"This is fine," she replied, and looked down at the stew again, taking another spoonful. Severus just sat back, resigned. He finished his stew and started on his bowl of chips, fitting a few sandwiches in there as well. Once he had finished, he looked up at her again, and saw that she was sitting back in her seat; it was clear that she wasn't going to eat anymore. He looked at her food – she'd eaten half the bowl of soup, two bites of a sandwich and the bowl of chips looked untouched. At least her tea was finished.

"Have a few more chips please," he implored.

"I'm not hungry anymore," she replied defiantly. "Thanks for lunch though, can we go to the bookstore now?"

Severus watched her get up; swinging her long curly ponytail over one shoulder and straightening out the non-existent wrinkles in her dress. He supposed he should keep up his end of the bargain and agree to a trip to _Flourish and Blotts. _He rolled his eyes, and nodded. She smiled deeply at him and they made their way to the bookstore.

* * *

><p>An hour later, Severus was thoroughly sick of shopping with Miss Granger. The blasted girl simply did not know when to stop browsing. Having purchased all the books he wanted, he threw himself into the chair by the door, acquiescent to the fact that he may be waiting awhile. However she must have caught the frustration on his face, because fifteen minutes later they were leaving the store, both severely hindered by the amount of books they had bought between them. They silently made their way to the closest Apparition point, and Granger put her hand on his right arm again. With another twist and a following short moment of absolute black, they were at the small square on Grimmauld Place again. Severus thrust his hand into his pocket and pulled out one of the torn pieces of parchment Dumbledore had given him, handing it to Granger.<br>"Read quickly, and memorise," he growled.

She looked over the note a few times, questions appearing in her dark brown eyes. Severus pulled the parchment out of her hand and ignited it with his wand tip. It curled up in flames and the ashes floated leisurely to the floor.

"What's the Order of the-…" she began, but Severus cut her off with a shake of his head.

"I'll explain when we get inside. Now think about what you just read and look at the houses over here."

She looked up, and Severus saw the dawning comprehension in her eyes. He watched as they grew bigger, knowing that she was seeing the house materialise in front of her for the first time; knowing how exciting and frightening it must be for her. Completely out of character, he felt some pity for the girl, and laid his hand on the small of her back again. He guided her up the broken down stairs and tapped his wand on the door for a second time that day. He'd wait until they got inside, then he'd warn her of the Darkness of the house. She was so tiny and fragile; he didn't want her to get hurt.  
><em>Merlin, <em>he moaned to himself, _a few hours with Granger and I'm turning into a soft-hearted Gryffindor! _


End file.
